Tekko '25

Although I am as dedicated to Tekko as I've ever been - even after all these years - I considered not writing a con report this year. What's the point? Who even reads them? Their only purpose is to remind myself what happened when, and to help me keep my history straight. I guess that's something, but it's more work at the end of an already exhausting weekend. And it's harder with every passing year to avoid repetition, as well as to articulate the highlights without getting overly personal (in order to protect the privacy of anyone who isn't me). Nevertheless, here I am in front of the keyboard; because I realized that writing these things helps me to process the whole experience, and provide some measure of closure to the decompression phase.

This is my fifteenth Tekko in eighteen years (I missed a couple in the wake of COVID). I don't even go to panels anymore (if there are any good ones, I can't tell, because the schedule is a hot mess). I didn't get to see any AMVs this year (we had to leave early on Sunday, before the awards). My cosplays are becoming repetitive (although I still enjoy wearing them - and crafting new ones is hard). Even my pictures are losing their novelty. Yet, I still had a blast. I enjoyed myself thoroughly, even in the face of the occasional frustrations and disappointments (every con has highs and lows). After all these years, I still love going, and I still get depressed when it's over.

I'm grateful to have found others to share this experience with (including the next two generations) - although it's still hard to find people who can match the enthusiasm I have. Yes, it's tiring. It's expensive - absolutely (and in this economy, it hits harder than ever). And it can be stressful at times. But I never can understand why everybody is always in a hurry to get back home on Sunday. Or why they don't want to get there early on Thursday. I paid to be there. I've looked forward to it all year long. There's nowhere else I want to be. Come Monday morning, I'm lost and confused. I don't want to go back to everyday life. I just want to go back to the con! Which reminds me, it's time to book my ticket and get a locked-in rate on a hotel room for 2026!

As for new anime I've discovered this past year, I just finished watching a series called Orb: On The Movements of the Earth, which I thought was fantastic. It depicts the cultural shift in Europe during the transitional period between the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, as amateur astronomers pursuing the heliocentric theory are hunted relentlessly by the church. It's about the elegant beauty of science, the stubborn march of progress, and what it costs. It's about forbidden knowledge, the righteousness of truth, and the wickedness of society (especially religion, although secular indoctrination can accomplish the same ideological oppression) in protecting its own self-serving lies by committing barbarous atrocities without conscience or remorse, all in the name of control. It's something that anyone who's lived a life of oppression, hiding in fear of what would happen should the truth come out, can understand and appreciate.

I also had the great pleasure of watching an older series from the mid-oughts titled Monster, about a genius surgeon turned fugitive's dogged pursuit of a sociopathic killer whose life he unknowingly saved in the ER. It was also fantastic. I recommend it. (Just don't expect any fantasy elements that are teased by the show's title and aesthetic). I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Dandadan, an energetic new show that melds comedy, romance, and supernatural action, and has become an instant hit. And then there's Gushing Over Magical Girls, a clever new series that skirts the line between ecchi and full-on hentai. I'll admit that I was initially put off by the art style, but I'm glad I stuck with it. In this show, the protagonist is actually the villain - a girl who has a fetish for magical girls, and uses her powers (along with her cohorts) to trap the heroines in all manner of embarrassing and perverted situations. It's the best deconstruction of the magical girl genre since Madoka Magica!

You know what? I'm tired of the usual note-for-note format of these reports, so let me just describe some of the memorable highlights (and lowlights) of the weekend. Starting with the swag. As planned, I got a combat-ready foam lightsaber (green) for my Slave Leia cosplay. It took me a while to find the right booth in the Exhibition Hall - but I finally did. And their lightsabers were on sale, too! Although still very expensive. But I budgeted for it, and I'm happy with my purchase. I also bought a Lum figure, since I finally watched Urusei Yatsura (albeit the remake) this year. It's a good show, and I like the character (to say nothing of her excellent taste in fashion). For a tasty treat, in lieu of chocolate-covered gummy bears (which I did not see this year), I bought some mini buckeyes instead. I think I like them even better. I saw a Chii figure I absolutely adored (perched on top of a telephone pole), but it had an outrageous $420 price tag...

On Thursday night, we had a good time swimming together in the hotel pool, and walking out onto the deck, with the skyscrapers looming above. At the end of the day on Friday, I went to use the bathroom only to discover that the soap had run out. And then, while putting my Slave Leia cosplay back on, two of the four straps broke, leaving me to comically hold the pieces against my body while shuffling around the con floor in a thong, looking for a hand sanitizer station - so that I could then sit on the floor and finagle a workaround using some elastic hair bands and a couple of twisty ties (I did not come unprepared for contingencies, mind you).

Did I mention that this happened at the busiest part of the con, just outside the main hall, while the dance was going on? That was the moment that broke my usually unflappable composure. And for anyone who might be thinking, "come on, I bet you loved walking around the con in a thong!" - first of all, that's fair. But let this be a lesson to you: just because I think pushing the boundaries is a healthy expression of freedom (the moment we can't do that, we are no longer free), doesn't mean that I lack a social conscience (or at the very least, a self-preservation instinct). :-p

On a (somewhat) brighter note, I was out on the balcony trying to console a distraught teenager (one of two we had brought with us) on Saturday night, when a nearby couple offered a heartfelt reminiscence sparked by their recognition of my cosplay. They asked how long I'd been coming to Tekko (which is why I had the exact number on recall earlier in this report), because they remembered seeing me and my cohorts in our Sexy Pokemon group cosplay that year - which clearly made an indelible impression. Not everybody likes my body-positive approach to cosplay - and they don't have to - but I get enough positive attention to feel appreciated. And I'm proud to know that, at least in some people's minds, I've become something of an institution at the con. It makes me feel a little bit better about recycling my cosplays year after year. If it ain't broke...

Speaking of which, my new tail strap snapping shortly before the dance on Saturday night turned out to be serendipitous, because the replacement I'd brought (from a previous year, which was surprisingly still intact), while not an ideal length - it pushes the top of the tail against my back - was considerably more stable. Which served me well, given that while I was in the dance supervising the aforementioned teen (can't be too careful in an environment like that), I was pulled into the center of the dance circle and forced, against my will, to show off my moves. I tried my absolute hardest to avoid completely embarrassing myself, although I'm pretty sure I failed. You just can't walk into a rave dressed as Pikachu in a speedo and NOT expect to become the center of attention...

And if that sounds familiar, it's because it's happened before. But I can't help marveling at the contrast - looking back on previous years at Tekko, way before I even had another person to go with. I remember feeling lonely and left out during the rave. It's still not my scene, and I'll never be a social butterfly. But just to be standing in a different position today, going into that rave - not for myself, but in support of a young person on the verge of growing her wings - it puts things into perspective. I'm not a parent, but every once in a while I get to play the role just a little bit. It makes you feel important, and useful. Being young is difficult. Social forces are like a bubbling chaos. Everyone wants to be popular, but not everyone gets to be.

Yet when you become an adult - when you get to watch the next generation navigate those forces without being awash in them yourself - and especially when you have the opportunity to offer some guidance, none of that high school social status bullshit matters anymore. All that matters is what kind of person you are. And if you're a good person, having somebody admire you and depend on you, and in turn getting to see them for who they are and not how they rank on the social ladder... You just understand the difference between what's real and what's fake - and what's important. And that you're a part of it. Even if you never got to be before. It's comforting to have the reassurance of knowing that you have a meaningful and positive impact on another person's life. For all that it's worth.

I'm trying to express something profound here, and I think I'm failing to put it into words. So I'm just gonna close the book on this report. There are more stories that could be told, but they are as much other people's stories as mine.

Tekko '24

As it turns out, the weekend of Tekko coincides with Picklesburgh - a surprisingly popular pickle-themed festival that takes place in downtown Pittsburgh. We learned this on Friday, walking through Market Square. As we sat in Five Guys eating lunch, it was just a constant stream of people passing the window - wearing green, carrying pickle-shaped balloons, and eating pickles on sticks. There was also a baseball game on Saturday - all of this probably explaining why we were completely unable to find a hotel room in the city for the weekend.

As such, we were stuck booking a room last minute at a Motel Sux outside of town. We'd stayed there before - in the days of Tekkosnowcon - but either our standards had risen, or the place has gone to shit, because it was a hellhole. You can't even walk up to the front desk - you have to talk to the concierge through a tiny plate of glass in the wall. Our room reeked of cigarettes, had drug paraphernalia under the bed, the shower leaked all over the bathroom (and was just generally cramped, with no shelves for soap or shampoo), the sink was clogged, and the air conditioner had two settings - off, and refrigerator.

I was so cold the first night, I woke up at 7:30 in the morning and drove to Walmart to buy a blanket (the motel's blankets were paper thin, so asking for extras would have been pointless), a hair dryer (I had to sleep with damp hair on top of everything else - because I thought my hair dryer was busted, but it turned out that it was just the outlet that didn't work...), and a box of assorted donuts (like my dad used to provide at Pinewood Resort), and got back before anyone else was up. Which, if you know me, is pretty rare. On the other hand, the weather was gorgeous all weekend. Warm and dry - lots of sun to soak up on the roof of the convention center, and balmy evenings to sit out on the deck under a full moon. Perfect conditions, as luck would have it, to walk around half naked.

On that subject, the official theme of this year's convention was "the beach episode" - a common trope in anime that is used (often to both humorous and titillating effect) as an excuse to depict a show's characters in various forms of swimwear. It's the anime equivalent of a swimsuit issue with some comedy sprinkled in. Imagine my excitement when I heard about this after the con last year - I pulled out all my skimpiest cosplays, even bringing a couple from pre-COVID times out of retirement. But if anyone else knew about the theme, it didn't show. Even the badge illustration was disappointing - instead of a cute girl in a bikini, it was an Elegant Gothic Lolita dying of heatstroke (I like the aesthetic of EGL fashion, but my one major complaint is its preoccupation with modesty). What's more, the AMV that won the award in the "convention theme" category didn't even feature a single swimsuit!

But that didn't stop me from pretending I was at the beach. On Friday I dusted off my Pikachu-in-a-Speedo cosplay. Debuted in 2016, it was retired in 2019 so I could work an a shimmering gold upgrade - Shiny Pikachu. But my lack of talent with a sewing machine (it was one of only two classes I ever got a D in - the other being Quantum Mechanics) has slowed me down. Hopefully the thrill of going to conventions again (after the COVID hiatus) will motivate me to get it finished - ideally by next year. When some guy in a three-layer military-inspired cosplay made a point to tell me I was the least-dressed person at the convention, I thought to myself, "mission accomplished!"

On Saturday, I brought out my homemade Slave Leia cosplay again for the second year (I figure the opening to Return of the Jedi is as close to a beach episode as Star Wars gets). It received a lot of praise, although it goes to show the generation gap that I was called Padme more than once... >.> At one point, a Guts cosplayer told me he loved my cosplay (the feeling was mutual), and that he had to get a picture with me. He even let me hold his sword! I deferred on bringing my lightsaber again this year, but I'm committed to eventually making the evolution to full-blown Jedi Warrior Princess. I just don't like the idea of having to carry it around all day; and I'll have to practice my poses because I know it'll draw more people's attention to me.

On the subject of Berserk, I pulled out my Griffith cosplay for Sunday, inspired by an obscure scene from the '90s series in which the characters wash up beside a well - essentially the medieval version of a beach episode. One of the highlights of the weekend was at the very end, as I was taking some final pictures at the water wall on the way to the car. Another cosplayer not only recognized the character I was [barely] dressed as, but also the precise scene I was depicting! It's rare, but moments like that - when you can share in an obscure fandom with complete strangers - really make you feel seen and appreciated.

It's part of the reason I still enjoy going to Tekko all these years later, and why I'm always reluctant to leave at the end of the day/weekend (and why it annoys me when somebody asks "what's the point of going on Sunday?"). I can't say if this is true of anime conventions in general, but Tekko is extraordinarily welcoming to queer and neurodivergent populations. This year, they had ALL the bathrooms re-labeled to be gender neutral - proving that utopia is surprisingly easy to accomplish, if we could only agree to be decent to one another from the outset. And jettison the poisonous belief that people deserve to suffer just because they look or act different than we expect them to. Come on, people, it really isn't that hard.

The sheer creativity and imagination on display in terms of people's fashions, coupled with the camaraderie and shared passion of an entire subculture dedicated to a specific entertainment medium, is all so intoxicatingly refreshing. This is what I want the rest of the world to be like all the time - people being free, and feeling comfortable, to express themselves without fear of judgment or derision. So many colorful personalities get drowned out and stomped on by the suffocating boundaries of conventional society. You can peel off your human disguise and be the fabulous alien you are - if just for a few days. It doesn't sound like much, but like a drop of water in the desert, it's a precious and valued resource.

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Now then, what did I miss?

When we arrived at the convention center on Thursday to pick up our badges, the line was wrapped around three sides of the building! It's the first time I've seen that at Tekko, and reminded me of the lines at Otakon twenty years ago. Official attendance was just over 10,000, which is nearly back up to the level of 2019, before COVID struck.

Although prices in the Exhibition Hall (formerly: Dealer's Room) tend to be high, I was delighted to find not one, but two figures I liked that were reasonably priced ($30 and under!). Both are from the hit series That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime. Last year, Milim figures were way over-priced, so I'm happy to finally get one! And I also found a Raphael figure that I like even better than the one I already have.

I also bought another erotic art book in Onii-chan's Hentai Room. It was a bit expensive, but I'm willing to patronize quality artistic erotica. Although, I'm quickly depleting their stock of materials that appeal to my refined tastes. (I don't know what the otaku obsession with monster-sized boobs is, but I could do without it).

Programming was dull as usual. They don't print out schedules anymore, and they're a pain to read on your phone. I scrolled through it the first night, and literally nothing popped out at me. I actually think it's easier that way. You can just divide your time between the Exhibition Hall, meals, people-watching, and taking photos, without having to rush to panels at particular times, and coordinating with the other people you're with. There's always so much going on at cons, no matter what you do, you're going to miss something. I just don't understand why they have to schedule the AMV Awards and Closing Ceremonies at the same time on Sunday...

Photo meetups seemed to be a big thing this year. I never really bothered with them, but I'm thinking that maybe next year I might actually look for a Pokémon or a Star Wars meetup. It's a toss-up, because I'd love to get more attention and recognition for my cosplays, but it would also be a lot of stress interacting with so many people. Plus, not everyone appreciates my less-is-more approach. I don't care about the haters - I do it for myself first and foremost, and there are always a few con-goers who pop out of the woodwork to thank me for my courage and inspiration, which makes it all worth it. But I also don't want to shove it down anybody's throat. So I don't know.

Can't wait for next year! It was great having my brother back at the con with us again. I know cosplay promises (my own included) are flimsy at best, but there's a lot to look forward to seeing next year! (Crafting ambitions burn brightest right after attending a con; I just hope I can hold onto that fire long enough to get the work done). We're probably going to shuffle the deck and bring some different kids next time, to give someone else a chance to experience the magic. Whatever happens, I can be pretty sure I'll be there and having a blast again. I've already got my ticket!

Tekko 2023

Cosplay

After two vacations two weekends in a row, my photography is a disorganized mess. But here's my cosplay from Tekko 2023. Hard to believe it's been four years since my last Tekko, but it feels good to be back. I love what they've done with the rooftop patios. Technically, my cosplay isn't anime-related, but I really wanted to get some use out of my Luna Lovegood cosplays from that doomed trip to Harry Potter World we never got to go on back in 2020. However, in the future, now that Tekko is a July convention, I think I'll stick to my standby approach of wearing the skimpiest costumes I can come up with.

Which brings me to my Saturday cosplay. I finally got to wear my handmade Slave Leia cosplay I've been working on for years. And the best part is, even though it's quite revealing, I never got dress-coded once! (And that's despite having three different backup options for undergarments with differing levels of coverage). Skimpy cosplays are never going to please everyone, but they sure do please me (shout-out to, among others, Quiet from Metal Gear Solid, and that really excellent Naruto that put my own Sexy no Jutsu cosplay from years ago to shame). Aside from simply wanting to join in the fun, I feel strongly about my contribution to paving the way for men to be accepted in the same kind of outfits we take for granted that women are allowed to wear.

It was that feeling, after seeing a girl dressed in a skimpy Pikachu cosplay at Tekko many years ago, that inspired me to do my own Sexy Pikachu cosplay, which I am honored to say was anonymously awarded by a random passerby as "most sexualized male" one year. I've retired the original costume, but hopefully by next year I'll have the upgrade completed - a Shiny Pikachu in glamorous gold glitter! And maybe I'll bring my lightsaber and unlock the full potential of my Slave Leia cosplay - re-envisioned as a Jedi Warrior Princess. Because, to me, sex appeal is empowering, not degrading.

Merch

I told myself on Friday, while browsing the Exhibition Hall, that I wasn't going to buy a figure this year. I've got too many as it is; my shelves are full. Plus, dealer's room prices are characteristically exorbitant. I decided I wasn't going to buy any posters or wall scrolls, either, because I just spent the last year pulling down dozens of them that I no longer have a place to hang. I need to down-size my collection, not continue growing it. But aside from the cosplay, and the sense of community formed from a shared fandom, one of my favorite things about going to an anime convention is the giddiness of being surrounded by all the flashy merchandise in the dealer's room. It is truly a cornucopia of delights. Whatever your pleasure is - from sweets to fashion to toys to smut - there'll be something to tempt you.

For me, it's all the pretty anime girls staring back at me from the walls and off the shelves. I had fun investigating the hentai booths that a couple of vendors had set up on the showroom floor (with ID check for entry). It puts me in a complicated position, however, because I have somewhat refined tastes. I'm sex-positive, so I want to stress that there is no judgment intended whatsoever in the following statement. I enjoy the erotic arts very much (hell, it's become my life's passion), but I don't really go for the mainstream approach that is crude and over-the-top, with exaggerated anatomy and gushing fluids. That's why I was ecstatic when I discovered a box of somewhat more tasteful art books in the corner. In the end, I was able to pick up a treasured souvenir that I can add to my personal library, that will be more valuable to me than another poster or figure.

How, then, did I wind up buying yet another figure? Call it the spirit of the con. I was looking at some Milim figures (talk about a skimpy outfit), but the prices were outside of my comfort zone. Then I saw Black Rock Shooter. I actually cosplayed a palette swap version of the character (White Rock Shooter - the primary antagonist of a PSP game based on the more popular character, and probably my most obscure cosplay) several years ago. At first I resisted, but when I saw more of them on Sunday at a lower price point, I jumped on it. I'm justifying my decision by committing myself to paring down my figure collection, and focusing more on quality over quantity. I already have a selection of favorites on more prominent display, and I think Black Rock Shooter will look fantastic standing among them. I just need to weed out the filler. (Although even as I write this, I realize that'll be easier said than done)...

Wrap-up

I've discussed my favorite parts of the convention (cosplay and merch), but there are a few other things I want to mention about Tekko 2023 for posterity. Like how we tried out the Escape Room this year (it was so-so - we were paired with another group, and there was just too much chaos to keep track of all the clues). Or how some guy brought his homemade full scale Dragonslayer (the ridiculously large sword that Guts wields in Berserk), which I got to pick up! (It was heavy). Or how I *almost* got to finally rewatch Demon City Shinjuku for the first time since it aired at 3am on the Sci-Fi Channel when I was a teenager (but the video rooms were a hot mess).

Lodging

For more reasons than one this was a year of change. It's not only the first Tekko I've been to since COVID, but the first time not having the option to use my childhood home as a base of operations for the weekend. For most people, staying in a hotel is part of the convention experience. And I do enjoy that part of it - I even got to swim in the hotel pool! (This is a great activity for Thursday evening, when programming at the convention is light). But it does add a considerable expense to the trip, and it didn't even save us any money on parking.

Tunes

Less driving around all weekend means that I didn't even make it through my entire playlist of con music, especially after adding some prominent new entries this year. Listening to AKB48 and anime themes from the '90s is very nostalgic, and really gets me in the mood for the con, but it reminds me how out-of-date I've become. I should probably find some newer anime themes (some of the more notable series I've watched in the past few years include That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime, Dr. Stone, Dragon Quest: The Adventure of Dai, Jujutsu Kaisen, and Chainsaw Man), but in the meantime, I've added three albums of Blackpink (K-pop supergroup and female analog to BTS), and three albums of The Black Mages (composer Nobuo Uematsu's band playing heavy metal renditions of songs from the Final Fantasy series) to the rotation.

Companions

Yet another reason this year marks a break in continuity is that our regular companions' interest in attending the convention seems to have faded. So we found some kids to fill up those empty seats. They were (dare I say, "surprisingly"?) well-behaved, and as far as I can tell, they enjoyed themselves (their One Piece cosplay on Saturday got lots of attention), and appreciated the experience, as I appreciated their company. This is my 13th Tekko (and Tekko wasn't even my first anime convention), and notwithstanding the unprecedented circumstances over the past few years which kept me away, I haven't grown tired of it yet. Others' interest may wax and wane; I'm happy I can still find people who want to be there with me.

Programming

I don't even feel guilty saying that programming isn't one of the main things I come to a convention for, since there's so much going on and everybody that goes finds something different to focus on. I like the cosplay, I like the dealer's room, I like the crowds and watching the people go by. When I'm in a panel, I get the nagging feeling that I'm missing something going on somewhere else. That said, I sat in on three sword-fighting demonstrations (Longsword, Kendo, and then Kendo vs. Longsword), and attended a tribute panel to Super Nintendo RPGs. The latter was mostly a quick-paced string of "remember this game?", but the quiz at the end was fun (and while I didn't come close to winning, I did really well on all the Final Fantasy questions, which is to be expected).

Other than that, I caught the AMV Awards on Sunday (because it's a lot quicker than sitting through the whole contest, and you still get to see the best entries). The one that made the best impression on me was a Samurai Jack AMV titled Vagabond which won Best Drama *and* Best Storytelling. I've never watched Samurai Jack, but in the vein of that one Trigun AMV from (quite a few) years ago set to the song 45 by Shinedown, it's making me want to watch the show.

Every year I think it'd be fun to host (or better yet, co-host) a panel. To offer some of my experience and insight as a fan of anime and Japanese culture over the past twenty-five years or so. Walking into any random panel at Tekko definitely makes me think I could pull it off. I just need a good topic. Maybe something to do with cosplay, although there's already a lot of those (they had a whole room dedicated to cosplay panels throughout the weekend). I noticed on the schedule that the "cosplay is not consent" panel is celebrating its tenth year. While I agree with all the main tenets of feminism, I can't help recalling my own traumatic experience of attending a similar panel at Tekko back in 2012. I sat there in my skimpy cosplay while the panelists shamed people that wear skimpy cosplays, and generally gave audience to a lot of sex negative rhetoric. I felt extremely uncomfortable; the only reason I didn't get up and leave is because I was scared to draw attention to myself. So maybe I could do a "Consenting Cosplayers" panel, in honor of us conscientious voyeurs and exhibitionists who know how to respect other people's boundaries, but still enjoy it when cosplay enables us to cultivate and indulge opportunities to admire the exquisite masterpiece that is the human form.

Or maybe I'd better just keep dreaming...

My New Mousepad

It occurs to me that even after all these years, and the few significant changes I've made to my life (although I guess they haven't been all that significant), I am still an otaku at heart, and I am, in fact, still living a NEET life. Several years ago I bought one of those awesome 3D anime mousepads that were new on the scene, which feature sexy anime girls, the busts of which serve as a soft, jelly wrist rest. One of the most brilliant creations in the history of mankind. Well, after several years of loving use, mine has been in considerable disrepair for a while. After seeing some such mousepads in the dealer's room at the con one year, I determined to find a new one the next chance I had, but ever since, I haven't been able to find any at the dealer's room at the con - which is frustrating, and more than a little bit surprising (they have tons of other otaku merchandise, up to and including X-rated body pillows!). So I finally gave up looking in person, and just ordered one online. And here it is:

The girl is Kashiwazaki Sena, apparently from an anime titled Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai (suggested translation: I Don't Have Many Friends). I haven't seen it. But she was the cutest anime girl I could find for cheap on eBay. And if I'm going to be staring at her on my desk for years to come, I want her to look pretty. Note the blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. Yeah, I'm predictable. Normally I don't go for the stereotypical huge-breasted anime cliché (dfc 4eva!), but this is one of those unique exceptions. Flat-chested mouse pads just don't have the support my wrist needs (especially after long sessions at the computer involving heavy wrist exertion). Unfortunately. ;-(

Anyway. There were actually a lot more varieties available this time I checked, which is cool. You might be surprised to learn (or then again, you might not) that, in addition to the typical "booby" mousepads, there are also "booty" mousepads for the women (or gay men, as the likely case may be), featuring hot guys - example. Not too surprisingly, there are booty mousepads featuring girls, too - example. Vive la différence! Not just from the back, either, but some more explicitly suggestive ones from the front - example. I was seriously tempted to buy one of those, but I didn't find one I super liked. Maybe in a few more years, when the one I just bought is worn out, there will be more varieties still. Thank heaven for perverts!

2D Complex, or How To Never Be Rejected By A Girl Again

This is a notice to all you geeks who are tired of being rejected again and again by every girl you've ever worked up the guts to approach. Follow these four easy steps and I guarantee you will never be rejected by a girl again. No, I'm not going to teach you how to be a pick-up artist, I am going to show you how to develop a 2D complex so you can experience the unconditional love of a fictional character. Sure, you'll have to sacrifice the possibility of ever touching, speaking to, or even seeing a real girl again, but it's worth avoiding the humiliation of being rejected yet again, right? Of course it is. Just don't back out halfway through, because the farther you get, the less likely a real girl will ever want to share your company, okay?

Step 1: Become a shut-in. [Hikikomori Stage]

If you can't win, give up.
You know that feeling you get every time you look at a girl when you're out in the real world? You know, that horrible feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you realize that your very purpose for existence - pairing off with an attractive member of the opposite sex in order to immortalize your genes in the form of wonderful, precious offspring - is hopelessly out of your reach? The feeling of knowing - knowing! - that that girl you would give the entire world to if she asked for it, wouldn't so much as spit in your general direction - that is, if she had any idea you even existed? The only reliable way to eliminate that feeling is to stop going out into the real world. Shut yourself in, so that you'll never have to feel bad while looking at a girl again. After all, real girls are just a reminder of how much of a failure at life you are, right? They are the enemy.

Now then, in order to survive, you're going to need a steady supply of food. If you're lucky enough to be loved by your parents more than you obviously deserve, you can take advantage of their unselfish good will and force them (by threat of the shame of having to admit that their wonderful, precious offspring, with whom they share their genes, is a socially awkward, incompetent loser) to provide you with the basic necessities of life. Otherwise, you'll need a dishonest source of income that doesn't require you to interact with society (like inheritance - hint, hint), so that you can sneak out under the cover of night to your nearest convenience store to pick up a crate of cup ramen and a case of soda every few weeks, as necessary.


Step 2: Immerse yourself in the world of anime. [Otaku Stage]
Now that you're sufficiently cut off from the world and its constant reminders of your inadequacy as a human being, you can begin to lose yourself in the wonderful world of fantasy. In this day and age, it is imperative that you have a reliable internet connection, so that you can steal enough media to keep you entertained for the 20 hours of each day you'll spend staring at your computer monitor with nothing better to do. If you have the cash, you can boost your power level among other illustrious shut-ins (with whom you will be conversing on web-based image boards, of course), by padding your shelves with rows upon rows of anime DVDs and manga compilations. It's a great way to show off both your personal taste, and your dedication to the lifestyle.


Step 3: Choose a waifu. [Moe Stage]
By now you should already be aware of the great appeal of 2D girls. All 2D girls are pretty, and they're always pretty - even when they have bad hair days, they are still adorable. And they never age. They are perfect because they're drawn to be perfect. Spend enough time with them, and you'll never be able to appreciate 3D girls with all their gross imperfections again - and this is a good thing, because 3D girls rejected you, remember?

With 2D girls, no matter how much you stare at them and drool, fantasizing about all the nasty things you'd like to do to them (probably fueled by those fan-made hentai doujins you were reading earlier), they will never - I repeat, NEVER - so much as glance at you with a disapproving look (unless that turns you on, because seriously, every interest is accounted for). They never complain, they never nag, they never get mad at you for saying the wrong thing, and they don't care how revolting you look or smell, or how wretched a person you are. They will still love you! They will let you do anything you want to them, and they will always be available to listen to you complain about how much life sucks, without interruption.

So what kind of anime girl is right for you? The Lifeless Doll, who won't ever bother you with memories of what it's like to feel? The Magical Girl, an ordinary schoolgirl who moonlights as a crime fighter? The Pop Idol, whom everybody adores? The Tsundere, who is just as likely to kick you in the groin as kiss you? The Quiet Bookworm who wears glasses? The 900 Year Old Child, combining the wisdom of maturity with the spryness of youth? The choices are endless!


Truly, endless.
If you don't know what you want, then I suggest playing a few dating sims, so you can try the different types of girl out, until you find something you like. And why limit yourself to one? You could choose to lovingly dedicate yourself to a single waifu, or you could spread yourself around - it's entirely up to you and your principles. I, personally, am polyamorous. My affection knows no bounds. I'm not jealous, either. Beware, if you don't like to share, you may have a lot of angry fanboys to fend off when you finally announce your choice of waifu. But stand strong, and don't ever let anyone tell you you can't have the one you love, just because she loves another. She's your waifu, only you know her true feelings. =D

Step 4: Create a shrine. [Hentai Stage]
Once you've got a waifu, you must honor and cherish her. The best way to do this is to post likenesses of her up and down the walls of your room (posters, cloth wall scrolls, and even pencil boards work well), and to purchase plastic effigies of her to line your shelves, and especially your computer desk.


Welcome to my harem.
And don't forget to feed her! Holidays are a great excuse to have a romantic dinner.


And when you're finally ready to consummate your fantasy marriage, you can look into getting a nice, soft, huggable version of your waifu, that you can actually take to bed with you.


This is a big step, and you might be feeling uncertain about whether you're ready for it, but how can you show true dedication to your waifu if you're sleeping alone? Go the distance; she'll thank you for it, and you won't regret it. Plus, if you're feeling especially excited, there are certain devices you can look into getting that will enhance your time together. ;)

That's it! Follow these four steps and you will never be lonely again. If you do it right, your attraction to 3D girls will subside, as they can never measure up to the untarnished beauty of all the 2D girls in your life. You'll be just as disgusted by them as they are by you. And that's a step above where you were to begin with. Of course, you'll never get to experience the feel of warm flesh against your body, or know the intimacy that can exist between two individuals who selflessly dedicate themselves to each other, and you can definitely forget about those wonderful, precious offspring you didn't have any hope of having anyway. You could always suck it up and look past your own flaws and failures, lift your head up, and march toward a more confident future - giving real girls a reason to notice you. But really, that's hard work, and the chances of success are too low, and loving a collection of lines on a piece of paper is so much easier. After all, your waifu exists primarily in your mind, and no real girl can ever get that close.

Pretty & Sexy

There are a lot of things in my mind that I'd love to discuss but I refrain from on account of avoiding controversy. Like, for example, the feminist implications of The Runaways' short career (specifically, the politics of sexuality as it relates to the different approaches to feminism). And I love controversy. But while I love to revel in it when it's produced by others, I'm more hesitant to produce it myself, because of the risk of attracting negative attention from others (something I'm not too fond of). And yet, a lot of what I do is already pretty controversial. You'd think I'd be immune to those fears by now.

The dilemma I face at this moment involves the potential (imagined?) conflict between my admiration of pretty girls, and my interest in the sensual, erotic side of life. And this has implications that go beyond me being afraid to add a pretty girl as a contact on flickr, for fear of scaring her away when (if) she finds out I am an erotic/nude photographer. This is the curse of every softcore pornographer - too tainted to charm the more sophisticated elements of society, yet too pure to be satisfied consorting with only the perverted bottomfeeders (I refer to this dilemma more generally as "The Unhappy Medium", which haunts my life). Here the impact of sex negativism can be felt clearly. If we had a healthy, positive attitude towards sex, then sensual individuals would more readily be judged based on their character, rather than on the simple fact that they embrace sensuality (as opposed to shunning and shaming it, as any decent person would do).

Maybe I am, once again, overreacting. My approach to sensuality is very clearly unique, and distinct from (and more sophisticated than) the usual, basic one that is most often assumed (that is, insensitive animal lust). And yet, from a glance or two - a first impression - how easy is that to glean? In fact, the "purest" and most "innocent" elements of society don't even make the distinction between tasteful sensuality and perverted filth - it's one and the same. Are these, then, people that I have no business associating with, in the first place? Ah yes, that's the easy answer. But what if they're pretty? What if they're beautiful? As an aesthetic artist, I cannot simply ignore such a thing. And the rarer and prettier the pearl, the stronger the desire to shine it. How does a nude photographer approach a pretty girl and ask her to pose for him (not necessarily nude)? While I'd enjoy taking sexy photographs of sexy girls, and pretty photographs of pretty girls, I want more than anything else to take sexy photographs of pretty girls.

On a related topic, I've been very interested in Lolita fashion lately (ever since the con). And I say "related" because any self-respecting Lolita would be appalled to find their fashion mentioned in the context of a post containing the word "sexy" in its title (barring the all-too-common ironic exceptions in the form of public denial). And no, I'm not backing out on my support of the tenet that Lolita fashion is nonsexual. In fact, it's the modesty that, perhaps in some twisted way, attracts me to it. (Not like that, jeez). But the issue comes up that some people might be offended by my interest in Lolita fashion, on account of the fact that I actually thought Nabokov's Lolita (in no way affiliated with the fashion, except in name only) was a brilliant - and even partly sexy - novel. And the fact that, while I don't exactly broadcast it (at least not in direct terms), I'm not actually offended by animated lolicon. (And if you don't know what that means, you probably don't want to). Or even just the simple fact that I am a man, and thus my interest in women's fashion is suspect (of perverted motives), by default (because if a man has an interest in girly things, it must be because he gets a sick sexual thrill out of it (by the way, are there any healthy sexual thrills?), and not because he might actually identify with girly things (then again, a man who identifies with girly things is abnormal anyway)). Yes, I am a pervert, and I am not ashamed to admit it, but not everything I do is perverted. I'm capable of keeping separate things separate, I'm just not so certain that others are capable of seeing it that way.

Even so, the question of attraction comes up. Are [heterosexual] males normally attracted to prettiness in girls? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think so. Are they sexually attracted to prettiness, or is that a different aspect of the attraction? Regardless, it is an aspect of the overall attraction. So why should pretty things not be sexual? Not to say that we should eliminate the line between them - pretty is pretty and sexy is sexy and they each have a distinct appeal. But can they not be combined favorably in some instances? I would say certainly! Observe:


Meet sexy (Yoko), and pretty (Nia). Now certainly, pretty girls can be sexy, and sexy girls can be pretty, but the best girls are the ones who are sexy & pretty, simultaneously:


Chii is, in my opinion, the epitome of the pretty + sexy girl. Of course, some may argue that Chii is simply pretty + lots of exposed skin, and not the sexy archetype - which might well be true. But "sexy" means different things to different people, and exposed skin is sexy to me (very sexy), provided the skin being exposed belongs to a pretty girl. :3 I don't hate T&A, but the stereotypical way they are presented almost seems to me a "masculine" presentation of sexuality. I'm turned on by a more delicate, feminine presentation of sexuality. Which is why Chii's pretty face, beautiful hair, soft skin, and long legs (frequently bared), attract me more than the lumps on the front or back of her body (not that I don't like them, mind you). And her gentle personality completes the package, turning her into an object of love, not simply lust, for me.

We've been skirting around the very similar issue of cute vs. sexy, here, and I know someone who will certainly say that cute = sexy. There is truth to that statement. I think, much like the feminine vs. "masculine" presentation of sexuality discussed above, it's a matter of taste. I've always been more attracted to cute features than outright "sexy" features. And, as it turns out, cuteness is more often associated with youthfulness, while sexiness is considered an "adult" trait. I believe that a lot of this has to do with social constructs - the fact that sex is an "adult" activity, and thus only adults are allowed to be sexy, and saying that a non-adult is sexy is politically incorrect - but it's also true that there is a physical quality to youthfulness that has a specific appeal, unrivaled by the appeals of age (subjectively speaking, at least).

The problem with saying that youthfulness is sexy, is that people will start asking, well, how young is too young? There is a too young, right? Right? All I can say about that is, different people have different preferences. And as long as we are talking about appreciating beauty (whether it's cuteness, prettiness, or sexiness), there's no logic behind labeling what sort of objects (I'm sorry, subjects) are allowed (or ought) to be appreciated, and which aren't. Aesthetic admiration is an involuntary emotional reaction, and policing it means putting restriction on thought - especially spontaneous thought that can't really be controlled. Not only is this a gross miscarriage of justice and basic liberty, but, thankfully, it's impossible to enforce (at least for the time being).

Where I'm going with this is, I don't see any point in punishing somebody for admiring beauty in another person. When I look at a pretty girl on flickr who places a clear statement against "perverts" in her profile, it makes me feel bad for being a sensual being that happens to find her to be attractive. Again, maybe I don't fit that profile of the run-of-the-mill "pervert", but I'm not exactly Mother Mary, either. This is exactly like the old pseudo-feminist ploy of trying to convince the world that when a man finds a woman attractive, it's a form of rape. Hopefully, anyone with reason will agree that this is ridiculous, but it doesn't eliminate the conflict between the sexually "tainted" and the attractively "pure". And when I say that, I don't mean that these girls are attractive because they're "pure" (I don't define real purity based on sexual experience), but that they happen to be attractive and "pure", thus making that attraction some kind of assault against their "purity".

So I'm probably making a big deal about this, but the bottom line is that I don't want to feel guilty for thinking a girl is pretty. There are sexy things in life that I enjoy, and there are pretty things in life that I enjoy, and I don't want to feel like I can't enjoy them both, whether combined or separate (as the individual occasion merits). Yet I don't want to offend the sensibilities of one or the other. Of course, if I was not suffering from social anxiety, I could just send this girl (who is old enough to drink, and is married, by the way) a friendly flickr mail, proving that I am a gentleman and not just another of the countless creepy perverts that are allegedly out there, and then wait for a response instead of agonizing over how I might be judged, and assuming the worst case scenario. But then, you wouldn't have gotten the chance to read this post about my winding thoughts regarding aesthetics and sexual politics. You see, I suffer for you!

(On the other hand, I like talking about pretty girls, because it makes me feel good inside. Almost as good as when I get to look at them. Have another picture of Chii:)