15 August, 2009


Simply put, Jung's "anima" is the feminine inner personality that exists within the unconscious mind of the male (the female's male equivalent being the animus). Disregarding all the subtle details, I am thoroughly intrigued with this idea of a feminine personality existing within the male. Because, to a certain extent, I am also intrigued by the idea of being a girl - and as a guy, this concept allows a certain justified outlet for those feelings.

The bottom line is, girls interest me far more than guys, to the extent that even when thinking about myself, I, on occasion, prefer to envision myself as a girl rather than a guy - it's just more interesting that way. For example, when I play video games, given a choice, I prefer to be a female character. Whether I actually identify with the feminine spirit, or if I simply idolize it (perhaps to an unhealthy extent), is up for debate.

Regardless, I find it interesting to think about what life would be like if I were a girl, and the process of depicting myself in a feminine manner fascinates me. So I was working on more of those eLouai dolls (speaking of endless fascination), and I decided to take a break from creating random girls to do another "selfportrait" doll depicting myself (the last one I did was the naked photographer).

So I thought about creating a doll that I could update through the seasons, and as my appearance/wardrobe changes (not that it does, much). I got started on it, but I was rather disappointed in the fashion choices for guy dolls (no plain white t-shirts?). So I switched it to a girl doll, and kept at the same theme - depicting myself. Except, I had to make some adjustments for cuteness (else it would be a wasted doll). So I totally ended up with an "anima" version of myself - how I would look if I were a cute girl instead of a guy. (And also the background assumes that I actually go outside, in daylight, more often than I actually do - so I kind of assume it's not just girl-me, but a repressed part of me, who is a girl, and goes outside more often than conscious-me does :p). Anyway, I couldn't be happier with how the experiment turned out, so I think I'll just go with it, and try to remember to update it, in whatever ways are possible (at the very least, changing the background to reflect the seasons). I think it sounds like fun.

I'm gonna put it over in the dedicated eLouai spot on the right "shelf" of this blog, where my forest fairy has hitherto been situated (farewell, Lamina!), so you can periodically check it for changes, if you are at all inclined.

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