Sex and Death

I was up late last night listening to a 1970 Neil Young concert on Rust Radio. I think Live at Fillmore East is great, and I'm glad it contains the highlights (namely, Down By The River and Cowgirl in the Sand), but I think it would be interesting to have a whole show, including Neil's acoustic set, where he does a bunch of Buffalo Springfield covers.

So anyway, I stayed up to catch the end of this show, and at the same time, I was studying H.R. Giger's artwork. Giger was, of course, the tortured genius behind the design of the xenomorph from Alien. In addition to the juxtaposition of organic and mechanical elements in his artwork, there is a disturbing combination of sex and death - skeletal forms engaged in erotic sex acts. When I finally got to bed, I mused to myself, I wonder if I'll have some kind of twisted nightmare after viewing all that creepy art.

By now, you've probably realized that I did have an interesting dream, or I probably wouldn't be relating this all to you. And indeed I did. It was related to The Walking Dead zombie apocalypse TV series I've been watching on AMC (the first season finished up last week). It's pointless to go into all the details of the dream, so I'll just tell you about the good part.

I was with a small group of people, and we were exploring an abandoned building. As far as we could tell, there were no walkers (zombies) around. We were in this fairly dark hallway, with partitions like the kind you see in a public restroom - in fact, there were some sections that were completely isolated like a toilet stall (though it was a hallway, not a bathroom, and there weren't actually any toilets). It seemed safe, so we explored a bit deeper, but then somebody spotted a zombie, so we rushed out and into a nearby room.

Except that I got caught behind. Everybody else was safe hiding in this other room, and I was there in the partitioned hallway, with not one, but two zombies sniffing me out. I got into one of the isolated sections (similar to a toilet stall), and I pulled myself up, trying to keep my feet away from the opening in the partition low to the floor. The zombies knew I was there and started banging on the door part of the partition that was between them and me. I was terrified.

Now, the significance of this experience is that previously, I saw the zombies almost as a novelty. Like an amusing gothic element from a popular horror fantasy. Like they were just walking corpses that were pretty easy to deal with - to stay away from, to neutralize, to avoid being eaten alive and turned into one of them. But with those zombies right there almost on top of me, I suddenly realized just how deadly and how terrifying they were. The smallest bite would mean the end for me - an end even worse than death. And they were right there. My respect for the zombies instantly shot up and I couldn't look at them in the same nonchalant manner again. Instantly, the horror became real for me, and it was no longer like a game of avoid-the-zombies - it was a fight for survival and relief from these nightmare creatures.

To make a long story short, I managed to knock out one of the zombies (don't remember how, or even if I was carrying any weapons), and skipped past the second one, making it to the safety of the room where the rest of my group was. Then some other things happened.

In a separate scene, later on, we were in some kind of prison yard or something, where there were a lot of people. And our group started shooting at them, trying to get them to respect our authority. I tried really hard to explain to the rest of my group how stupid that was, and that there was no logic at all behind it, and that it was a really really bad idea (we didn't have enough bullets to kill everyone there, they were alive non-zombie humans, and we were just pissing them off is all we were accomplishing). But I couldn't make them stop.

So it inevitably got to a point where we were running from this mob of pissed off people, and this is where the dream switched gears from death to sex, in a totally unpredicted, but ultimately pleasing manner. I kind of got behind the rest of the group, and found myself mixing with the mob of people chasing us - I guess I'm lucky I was arguing against my group's actions, because the mob didn't seem particularly concerned about catching me.

And then, as I was running down a long mall-like hallway (much brighter and wider than the one from the earlier scene), I looked off to the side and in an alcove I saw Emma Watson standing by a row of vending machines. I have no idea why Emma Watson showed up in my dream. I like her, but it's not like I've been thinking about her a lot lately (well, except for this one thing - incidentally, she's like 20 now, but if I told you how old she was in my dream you'd have me swinging on the gallows pole ;p). But that's beside the point - she was there. And she was wearing a pretty hot outfit - really short skirt (nothing underneath), and one of those tops that acts like a shirt, but it's really more like a bra, that ties in the center of the front - you see it in a lot of those "sexy costumes" because it barely covers anything more than what is legally necessary.

Well, when I saw her standing there, I was immediately attracted to her. Like, the way a paper clip is attracted to a powerful magnet. I forgot the mob and went straight for her. She took on a very inviting posture, essentially welcoming me to have my way with her. So I sat her down on a bench and pulled up her skirt (not much pulling was necessary ;-). She spread her legs, and I immediately went down on her in full public view of the disinterested mob rushing past us. It was really hot, but the dream soon ended, before I was able to get any further.

You might find it hard to believe, but I very rarely have dreams that are sexually explicit in any way, so each time it happens, it's a real treat for me.

(I'm thanking god Emma wasn't a zombie in my dream!)

Christmas Cheer

The idea of Christmas is a mutual gift exchange. So although I'm purchasing gifts for other people, I expect to get gifts in return. Perfect balance aside, the idea is that I come out even in the end. But that's assuming that whatever money I spent (and then later recovered in gifts given to me) could be afforded on gifts and leisure items. What if I needed that money just for basic survival? Through the gifts exchange, that money is transforming into leisure items I can live without. I'm crossing my fingers that I get enough cash just to make up for my losses.

I didn't ask for gifts anyway. I'd be happy not to receive any if it meant not having to buy any for anyone else. (I like buying my own things, thank you very much). But it's an unspoken agreement, and to sit it out is to spit in the faces of those who love you. What a splendid affair. My hands are tied!

Mermaid Princess

I just learned that an anime version of The Little Mermaid was made 14 years prior to the Disney version, in 1975. Wow. And in the anime version, the mermaid is not only blonde, but topless (imagine that!). And the story allegedly follows Hans Christian Andersen's story more closely than the Disney version (no they-lived-happily-ever-after here, folks). Do you have any idea how excited that makes me?

But the bad news is that it's probably impossible to get a hold of. This is a movie I don't just want to see, but would love to own. But the problem is that even if I found a copy, I couldn't trust that it's a good copy. Firstly, it's an old film that's not very popular, so it's not like it's been released and re-released on different formats and advertised and whatnot. I found a DVD copy on Amazon, that a lot of people seem to be happy with, but at least one review mentions that there have been some edits. The offending material? Violence and nudity, as you'd expect. And those are the parts that make this movie worth seeing, right?

I don't think the whole "uncensored" market was as big a deal in 1975 - on the other hand, they may not have felt the need to edit it back then, so maybe I could find an old VHS copy? But you know what else wasn't a big deal back then? Subs. I don't think there was much of a market for English audiences watching anime in Japanese in the seventies. I don't think anime itself was nearly that popular then as it is now. So how do I find an old movie like this that has Japanese audio, English subtitles, and no edits?

The obvious answer is to turn to the black market, but you're still in trouble if what you're looking for isn't very popular, or is really old, or isn't actually available in just the format you're looking for. I'm sure an unedited Japanese copy could be found, but what are the chances anyone has ever produced English subtitles for it? And with bootlegs, you can never be completely sure of what you're getting. I can't be any more sure than with the official DVD release that I won't be getting an edited copy of the movie. And having not seen it before, I might not even realize it.

Not that that makes it okay. I hate few things more than being duped into seeing something censored without realizing it. I saw the original Last House On The Left on account of a lot of cult hype I had heard, but my reaction to it was underwhelming. Then I discovered that I almost certainly watched an edited version of the movie, with all the best parts cut out. (Why is it always the best parts that they cut out?). Which just ruined my whole experience of the movie.

So I come across something like this, and it happens from time to time, and I get all excited, and then I think, it's all just pipe dreams. I'll never get my hands on what I'm looking for...

The movie is actually viewable on YouTube I see, but it's in English of course. (Maybe I'll watch it anyway).

Here are some screenshots, courtesy of this wonderful English fansite.

Here's another version of the story from 1975. It's pretty good, too.