24 November, 2011

Still Thankful

I hate to get all sappy, but this is a great opportunity to mention some of the things I appreciate in life. (Seeing as I spend so much time dwelling on the crap that life deals me).

I am still thankful for the internet. Sometimes I think it's a cursed blessing, as the internet keeps me at home and indoors. Occasionally I find myself wondering what I would do with myself if the internet didn't exist. How would I occupy my time? I'd probably sit in a chair and think for hours on end, like I used to do when I was younger, before the internet consumed my life. I might read more books. I might actually get out of the house more and have a stronger "rl" presence. That would be a good thing. But on the other hand, the internet provides me with no end of entertainment. But it also gives me an outlet to explore my interests, continue my studies despite not paying exorbitant tuition fees for someone else to decide what's important to my education, and it's given me an avenue to explore and develop both my writing and my photography skills - and possibly even begin to garner a (slow but growing) fanbase that could help me opportunity-wise in the future. So even were it a mixed blessing, there is no doubt of the blessing part, and that is what I am today focusing on. Oh, and did I mention the internet is filled with porn? ;-)

I am also still thankful for girls. And looking back at my thankful post from three years ago, this year I will stress my thankfulness for 3D girls. I am still intimidated by 3D girls, and there are still things that 2D girls can do that 3D girls cannot (at least not legally), but matched evenly, I have and will always prefer girls in the 3D. They bring so much brightness and inspiration to my life, that I can't imagine how dull my life would be without them. Well maybe I can, as so much of my life has been spent without them - and even now, they are not as close to me as I hope they will be in the future. But, as alluded to above, the internet is a fairly good coping mechanism in the meantime. Girls are just so wonderful. For what it's worth, the nature of my photography has put me into close proximity with the gay and trans cultures (although the upside of that is that it's made me incredibly more tolerant and open-minded, which is something I feel good about), but damn I can't tell you how much more fun and exciting thinking about sex is when girls (real, true girls) are involved. Girl power!

I can assure you that I am thankful for more than just three things, but I don't want to dwell on this topic forever, so I will stop at three. The third thing I am thankful for is the latest friend I have made. I don't want to get all mushy, but she's been such an awesomely wonderful person, and I have no doubt that she's done more for me than I can even articulate. She accepts me, even admires me, for who I am, and that gives me an enormous boost to my self-esteem (previously shattered by a heartless girl I adored, but who would barely give me the time of day, although I don't blame her for not being interested in me, even if I reserve the right to be bitter about it). We get along unprecedentedly well, and having her around to hang out with (even if it takes some measure of effort - more hers than mine - to do so) has made me a much happier person over the last couple years, even in spite of my continuing struggle against my own inner demons.

So thank you. :-)

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