Sunny Days

I love 90 degree sunny days. I like it when I step outside, and the heat envelops me like a warm blanket. I know I'm probably an outlier, but it hits different when you're not already wearing clothes. I don't dislike having 90 degree days strung out for weeks at a time, but I wish I could bottle them and spread them more evenly throughout the year. I can only go full out for so long before I need a rest. And it's less my physical stamina (although that's important) than my photo storage capacity that I'm worried about.

An interesting thing that I've noticed, is that when it's especially nice out, and I'm stuck inside for whatever reason (e.g., I'm resting because I just spent several days exerting myself in the heat), I get this tugging sensation - not physically, but mentally. Like I should be out there, enjoying it, before the heat and the sunshine evaporate. The interesting part is that it's a very similar sensation to what I would feel growing up, being a shy kid staying at home, wondering how much fun the popular kids were having at parties and sports games and get-togethers - all the sorts of things I was too terrified to be involved in, but felt like I was missing out on as a result. I think it's a good development, because it's more a sense of, "you should be doing those fun things you like to do", than "you should be doing those fun things you cannot and will never have the ability to do, and will resent not getting to do for most of the rest of your life."

Also, I like sharing fun experiences with other people. And being with someone I'm comfortable with mitigates much of my anxiety at navigating the world. But, being able to go out and do something I like all on my own - being in control of my own destiny and not depending on the permission or the assistance of another - I think it's good for my psychological well-being, even if doing it can be a little scary at times.

"Gimme what I want before I give to to myself."
- Gimme What I Want by Miley Cyrus